LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT

MY STORY 

As most of you know and for those of you that do not no me, I am a single Mom.  I have a daughter named Elizabeth.  She is going to be 24 years old this December.  She is my best friend and I don’t know where I would be without her, I love her more than words can be created to say. 

It is not easy being a single parent, anyone who is a single parent knows this. You have to take the responsibility of being the mother and the father.  You have to take on all of the responsibility of raising a child by yourself.  This means that it’s you and you only. You are the emotional and financial provider along with being the only one for discipline and through it all you hope that you are making all the right decisions because you have no partner to confer with and if it all goes wrong you know it all falls on your shoulders. 

Now however there is a huge positive side to being a single parent and that is why I am writing this.  I want to share some hope and positive outlooks on being a single parent.  First of all you do not have to share your child with your spouse, this may seem mean but what I am referring to is you establish a bond like no other.  There is no one else to compete with you for your child’s time or to compete with you on any level.  All you parents out there know that children like to play one parent for the other.  So for you single parents your child tends to be more like you because you are the only one raising them and they tend go by what they learn as most children do, however it is like seeing yourself grow up and it is really cool.

Then comes the reward!  What I am referring to is when your child becomes successful and you have raised them from day one and been through it all with them. The good and the bad, the easy and the hard and the outcome is success.  The feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming. Not only are you so proud of their accomplishments but the fact that you were able to help them achieve this all by yourself.

Now let me tell you about the bond that gets established when you are a single parent. It is so strong and it is a relationship like no other.  My daughter and I are extremely close and have such a special relationship that we both cherish it to death.  She is away at college and I miss her terribly.  Just the thought of her will fill my eyes with tears.  In fact it is even extremely hard to write this because I miss her so badly.  I am so happy for her that she is so successful but sometimes I question myself and say why did I make her so self sufficient, I didn’t want her to move away.  But seriously she has accomplished so much from being Miss Teen Massachusetts to becoming President of a fashion club that she created in San Francisco as a freshman.  “Liz” that’s what I call her “I am so proud of you”!  Actually she has another nickname that I have called her since she was a baby and that is my Roonie. It is short for Elizabetharoonie.  I’m not sure if my Mom started that when she was born or if I did but it stuck with her.

Yes it is very rewarding that she is so successful and doing so well and that I feel like it was a huge accomplishment. But there were a lot of tough times together.  She knows how difficult it was for us to be alone.  I worked two jobs and sometimes three most of the time and that was extremely difficult.   I remember taking her on a seven day a week paper route for years, in the snow and the ice and she was little and didn’t want to go.  You have to do what you have to do. “I’m Sorry Honey”.  There also were a lot of extremely difficult situations that the two of us have been through that only the two of us will ever know.  Let me put it this way she started to bring me tissues when I was crying when she started to crawl and she would always say “Mommy its ok”.  She still does that today if I need one, only I need them a lot less now.

 So probably the most important thing that I am trying to say is that she needed me but I also needed her. She taught me so much and I thought that I was the only one who was going to do the teaching.  I can count on her for anything and I know that she will always be there for me and tell me the truth, even if I want an opinion on something.  Even though she is my daughter and my best friend I know that she will point it out to me if I am wrong in something and not just agree with me on everything.  I love that because she will give me an honest answer and that is one thing that we both do for each other.  Sometimes it is not so pleasant to hear but usually it is for the best for both of us, we always try to help each other grow into a better person.   Again I don’t think I would be here if it weren’t for her.  “I Love You Honey”.

Elizabeth is going to be my maid of honor of course in our wedding.  But she surprised me with something so special and rare, and that is that she designed my wedding gown! How many Brides out there can say that their daughter designed their wedding gown? I am the first that I know of and it is such a special honor and memory like no other.   I am so excited!  And I feel so rewarded!  

So let me finish with this. All of you out there that are single parents, hang in there, have tons of patients, and keep pushing through, you can do it and you can raise a child on your own who is extremely successful. There will be rewards beyond your imagination. Trust me you will go through very difficult times but you will have memories and a bond like no other.  It is truly a special relationship like no other.  So please cherish every minute you can because before you even realize what happened your job is done and they are on their own, and you will continue to always wish that you could do it all over again. 

God Bless all the single parents out there!

And for all you children out there that have single parents, give them a big hug and a little slack they are trying their best I can assure you of that!